The Birds! II

Just when you thought it was safe, comes a harrowing sequel to my post about birds…

Last night I was preparing dinner when I heard a thunk against the window on our side porch. Another bird flying into his reflection. Thankfully, the bird didn’t persist in the endeavor and so I didn’t give it much thought. A few minutes later I went out to light the grill. The dogs were underfoot, as usual, hoping I’d drop a burger. Then they took interest in something on the deck, to the right of where I stood.

It was the bird, sitting there dazed and confused from its collision with the window. It blinked, trying to clear the cobwebs from its little bird brain. Before I could stop him, Wilson nudged it with his nose. Then Lucy, unwilling to let Wilson have anything in her kingdom, rushed in and took the bird in her mouth. “No!” I shouted. The bird was trying to fly away but its wings were pinned in the bulldog’s jaws. I grabbed Lucy by the collar to stop her from running off with it. I kept screaming “No! No! No!” — a bloodcurdling scream to rival any by Tippi Hedren — but there was no way Lucy was dropping that bird for Wilson to nab.  And there was no way I was touching that bird to wrench it out of her mouth. So I picked up Lucy, held her over the railing and shook her, shrieking “Drop it! Drop it! Drop it!” I kept hoping someone would come to my rescue; Brian wasn’t home yet, but surely my neighbors could hear my screams echoing off the hillside. But no one came, so I just kept screaming.

Eventually, Lucy released her jaws of death and I watched the bird fall to the ground beneath the bushes. It landed face up, its belly torn open, eyes open and still. I set Lucy down. Feathers poked out from her snout in all directions. A lone drop of blood stood out from the white coat on her leg. She looked at me with sad eyes, knowing she’d displeased me but unable to understand why. Or maybe she was just sad that she didn’t get to eat the bird.

I went inside, called Brian’s cousin Jimmy who lives next door, and promptly burst into tears. Jimmy came and disposed of the bird while I cleaned up Lucy (gag, and now gagging again just remembering). Afterward, still shaking and completely grossed out, I turned off the grill and shoved the burgers back in the freezer.